Being Human

 

Being Human

 

 

 

There are days where I feel like shit.

There are days where I own the World and could bend any steel bar with nothing but sheer determination and will power, by spirit alone.

 

There are days where I thought and considered that this would be a good day to die. To leave a note for the woman I have loved for so long, and then wait for her at the gates of Heaven.

 

Then I would come to my senses and realize that killing yourself is the easy way out, for chickens, and the most egotistical thing you can do in this World. 

Rather than just thinking about yourself and your own selfish needs and desires, if you truly love somebody, you will do anything…anything…in this World for the one you love, and by hurting yourself, you only hurt the one you love, even more.

 

There are days where my spirit and soul is like a rock, where you feel proud and sublime, and no rain, no storm, no earth quake or no lightning strike can take away that all powerful feeling of just…being.

 

There are days where I fill up my lungs so much that they are about to burst and they could pump a thousand bullets into me and I’d still be going on strong. Days where I’d be unstoppable and pulling the plug on my pace maker would do didley-squat simply because today was my day. Today I own the World and I am the king of the universe with the World at my feet.

 

Then there are day where the only thing that keeps me going…is to hear her voice. To hear her say ‘I miss you’, ‘I love you, too’.

 

There are days where the sun shines brighter than any sun has ever shone, before, and days where you lose all your faith in humanity.

 

There are days where your friends disappoint you tremendously, where you wonder if they are friends, at all. And then there are those days where one of them comes to your rescue and you realize who your real friends are.

 

Days for despair and days for joy. Days for sorrow, for sadness, for pain, for loneliness…and days of beauty you will treasure forever.

 

But behind every day, there is always a reason. Behind every trial and every turbulence, there is always a reason. For every pain and every suffering you come out stronger in the end. More galvanized in your conviction to stand up for what you believe in. To stand up for your believes…and for your love.

 

There will be times where you drift away, where your believes are not strong, where you doubt. But you know with every ocean, there will be a new tide, and when that turn of the tide comes to you, you know you did the right thing and you are grateful you stood strong, stood up for what you believed in, deep in your heart, and your lungs fill you up, again, and your spirit soars to new, unseen heights.

 

Your humility makes you realize that you are only human. It makes you realize just how vulnerable you are…but it’s love that makes you live.

 

There are days where you could die for something big, and days where just death alone would be a blessing. There are days where it’s me who brings life to everyone around me, where I am the one keeping them alive. Days where I can reach people and touch them in their hearts and days where I am screaming out for someone to do the same to me.

 

Those are the days where you dig deep into your heart and see who is still there for you, and time and time again, it’s the same face that shows up. That’s when you know you can not give up. Those are the days where you find your reason to live…because it’s her face you see, every single time you dig deep into your heart. Those are the days you find your purpose of living.

 

I never claimed to be anything special. I am just an ordinary, volatile human being. I don’t have an alter ego or a macho image to protect. I only got a heart to protect. I am just a simple person with a straight forward philosophy of honesty and integrity. I am what you see, for better or for worse.

 

I hurt and bleed like everybody else. I am just being honest about it. That’s the entire difference. I don’t ‘lose face’ if you see the soft side of me and I don’t have pride so high up my ass that I can’t admit my mistakes. I don’t need to have the last word and I would rather listen that speak, because you learn more from listening to others than you do from speaking, yourself.

 

There are days where I am so pumped on adrenaline and excitement that I could stand on top of a 747 in flight and scream my invincibility out to the World, and there are days where I need my friends, where I rely on them for a boost.

 

But wherever I stand and however I feel, I know there is always a reason why I am there and why I feel like I feel. I know there is always a reason for everything and if only I can find that reason, I can find the purpose of life.

 

Some people find that purpose early in life, some find it late. Some never find it and are left to drift on the open ocean without a safe harbour.

 

When you find it, you will know…deep in your heart…and it will come back to rescue you, time and time again.

 

Until then, you will have good days and you will have bad days, simply because…

You are only human.