As I was told, a few years back, by a female colleague of mine at the time: "All women are bitches, all men are assholes". A surprisingly blunt statement from a woman who otherwise didn't spend a lot of time talking. But her direct style and "knife yielding honesty" I totally connected with and ever since that day, she was high on my list of respected individuals.
Now, I don't necessarily believe that all women are bitches and all men are assholes, but i totally agree that a lot of them are, pending definitions. I think the bigger issue here is, that women have no clue about how men work and how to deal with them. Likewise, men have no clue how women work or how to deal with them. It has always been like that and will always be like that, I predict, and reading "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus" - which I have done -, ain't gonna solve the problem. It's not gonna bring Venus and Mars any closer. We are fundamentally different. Not in appearance, not in physique, but in mentality. The way our minds work. How we think, which translates into how we "work", our actions and reasoning. There's about six millions years of evolution behind that and it has nothing to do with any "god".
As for me, personally, I think I am a very nice guy (unsurprising statement) on a daily basis and most people you would ask would agree on that....but...I totally acknowledge and agree that I have great potential of being a complete asshole if need be, and I won't hesitate to use that weapon if I feel that I need to. I just hope that I won't feel the need to and try not to go down that avenue.
Women, on the other hand, seem to be bitching (by male definition) a lot, and here is the surprise; especially at each other. Sure, sometimes I get snapped at, too, and that's ok (I probably deservet it. At least at certain times), but I have noticed both in relation to my wife and her female colleagues and most definitely at my own work, amongst the girls, that once women "get it in" for each other, it's vile and it will go on for six months, non stop. Men will go outside, physically, and smack each other up for a minute or two. Last man standing is the winner and then we're back to a clean slate as if nothing ever happened. Women, on the other hand, will start a six month psycho war/vendetta to get at their opponent. I find the psychology behind all of this, very fascinating. Why we do what we do.
It's funny, though, how we seem to be on different wavelengths. If women talk to a guy about "a problem" she has, the guy immediately puts on his Mr. Fixit hat and presents a "solution" to her problem, having no clue what she's looking for. She's not looking for a solution. It's the process of talking that is the solution. Now, reverse that scenario and you will see how frustrating it is for the guy. In the eyes of the guy, women are just yackity-yakity-yakity-yack and not a single friggin' thing gets done.
Women want romance. Guys want sex. Women want to "kindle the flame, nurture the embers" so they can stay warm. Guys just want to burn the whole fucking (pardon my language) barn down. See the flames shoot into the sky, all red, orange and blue. Burn it to the ground and have the ashes remind you how awesome that was.
Women want to "talk about it" whereas guys just want to "get it friggin' done". But common for both of them are the 'ulterior motives' they are both harbouring. You go out on a date (women, you pay your own friggin' half. Don't be a leech) and as a guy, you just know you are going to be assessed and evaluated the entire duration. Everything you say, everything you do, your manners, your words, your attitude. You are just waiting for your report card to come in. She's looking for a provider. A nurturer. A compatible companion/partner. The genetically perfect sperm donor to father her children and create the perfect family. Doesn't she even know how much of a disappointment she's setting herself up for?
For the guy, on the other hand, at that particular dinner date, it's very simple. The ulterior motive and the only purpose...is to get her in the sack: "How long is this gong-show nonsense gonna go on and how much is it going to cost me? Are we gonna get 'down to business' tonight or are we gonna have to go through all of this again next week"? It' all about pelting the beaver and planting your seeds. He doesn't give a shit if it's a $ 20 Chianti or a $ 180 Chateau d'Alsace....well, actually, if it's a $ 180 Alsace, you are paying half the bill, honey.
It's really a never-ending list with the girl and the guy usually living on opposite extremes and neither of them understanding the other and putting virtually zero effort into trying to understand or even learning the why's or how's. That means not much, if anything, is likely to change. Ever! And that is really sad because we will always just keep blaming each other, then. Women will always be bitches and guys will always be assholes, I suppose.
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