Garden City (waste-)Lands.

Right smack in the centre of Richmond is a wasteland that the city is planning to turn into a different type of wasteland. But they sure as hell are taking their  sweet-ass time to do that, so it will probably end up being just a regular type of wasteland for a long, long time to come. The "lands" were purchased in 2010, and now - a decade and a half later, still not a single tree has been planted. They're moving at "the speed of Brodie".

Anyone who knows Brian know he's a sucker for a challenge, so I was trying to figure out how to make "something out of nothing". How to make the mindlessly boring look just a little bit interesting? The results you can see below. If yo think they are boring, it's probably because...they are. Not just boring. But mindlessly boring. A complete wastland that cost the city $ 60 million. But the Musqueam Nation is laughing...and $ 60 million richer. And I am laughing with them. Maybe you ought to read this one, too.

And by the way, the mayor Malcolm Brodie is quoted as saying: "I don't like the deal...". Who gives a fuck, Bro? Do you think the Musqueam "liked the deal" when they white man came and stole everything that belonged to them, before the same white man completed his genocide, once he finished raping the women? Not likely. So just shut the fuck up and
move on. 

But let's think positive. What can we possibly do with a dump like this? Well, for starters, it would be the absolutely perfect site for a homeless encampment for all those who can't afford the million $$ speculative condo flipping chicken cages in Richmond. Close to all necessities, yet to nobody's bother because it's got heavy traffice on all four sides, flying by with 80 km/hr. Or maybe a squatters paradiase, not unlike Christiania in Copenhagen; a "free-town" of sorts and merch you don't see anywhere else in the world.

How about a permanent, year round location for all sorts of food trucks? That would be phenomenally popupar with both the people of Richmond and the owners of the food trucks. Of course, they would bitch at it at the Night market, but quite frankly - who gives a shit? Your overpriced Chinese junk we don't want anyways. We only go to your place once a year to get some new food impulses. I would support the food truck idea any time and become a regular customer from day one. Space enough for a pattio with each food truck.

Other interesting ideas would be an "RLE". Our own spin on the PNE. But the Richmond Lunatic Exhibition would have to bring something that you wouldn't find at "Big Brother's Place". How about a "Fast and Furious" exhibit where young Asian males could learn to total Dad's Lambourghini in 9 seconds or less? That would be very, very Richmond-like. They could also feature things like the World's largest collection of white gloves, for all the ladies in ther Mercedes', etc. Or flourescent colour paints to paint on the eyes brows you just shaved off in an frenzy of hyper-vanity.

Personally, I'm a little more docile. Next to the food truck paradise, my favourite idea is necessity-driven: A football (you know...the game you play with your foot -the one that dumb Canadians call soccer) stadium. REAL grass, of course. Not the plastic garbage the game is usually played on here. It would be very similar to the one in Halifax and this province, in fact the entire country, is in DESPERATE need of real football-only stadiums and it would be the PERFECT marriage with Swangard Stadium. The way the sport is blasting off like a rocket these years, it's long overdue. We don't have a single stadium in Richmond that is not a laughable joke, and we are 250.000 people. It's pathetic and inexcusable. Had this been Europe, there'd be three stadiums in Richmond; one stadium per every 75.000 resident. In Helsingoer, Denmark where I grew up, they have a nice stadium and they got 63.828 citizens
as of January 1st, 2024. Nevermind a little dinky, local stadium. Build a world class facility with money from all three levels of government and private investors. A new, national stadium that would be a thunderous succes and the clear choice over the "hurricane prone" junk stadium in Toronto (and yes, I have been there).

But anyway! Back to the wastelands of the garden city. More like fantasy garden city. I hear the ghost of Bill Vanderzalm is still roaming the place. That's what you get when self-important politicians get involved: Absolultely nothing. Just another wasteland. Maybe in another decade and a half from now (that would be three decades - 30 years after the city purchased it), something will actually start to happen. Who knows, they might even plant a tree by then. Until then, I'll lean back and see Richmond miss yet another chance of putting itself on the map as a place of any importance, a place of forward thinking people. Feudal minds only feed the feudal status quo.

FOOTNOTE:

As sad as it is, the place looks better in -6 degrees, pre-sunrise, than it does in the daytime when you can really see what a dump it is.