Well, it's a lot like religion: It doesn't matter how big a pile of bullshit it is. As long as you believe it to be true...it's pure halleluja to ya, and you happily surrender your wallet/purse to them as they laugh at you. Well, let me burst your bubble for you:
What you get, is a whole lot of water...and a little bit of oil. Add an emulsifier to make it a homogeneos liquid that doesn't seperate. And the cheap oil will do the same job that the much more expensive egg yolk will do, namely give your product a nice shine
Now, read the label on your left and keep in mind they are legally obliged to name the igredients in order of amounts, meaning the ingredients you see first is the one there is most of. Last ingredient mentioned is the one there is least of, obviously. Hence it doens't take much to figure out that what you get here (in this "egg wash SUBSTITUTE")...is water. But it looks nice and shiny, your final product, so you are willing to pay more for the "egg washed" product, especially since your baker told you he uses "egg wash" to give you that shine, and eggs are expensive and that's why you pay more. For something you don't get. But you are a believer and so you cough up while he's laughing behind your back, pocketing the profit.
There's a Billion ways you are being ripped off, every single time you buy commerically made anything and it's all based on the same concept: Make you belive you are getting something 'expensive' and give you something much cheaper instead, hoping you will never discover and therefor happily pay for the 'expensive' product. They will go right to the legal edge - and often cross it. The only thing you can do, if you want quality; make it yourself.
Ya, there's a reason they tasted "almost....like the real thing". Because there is not an ounce of butter in this entire bucket you see here. It's not even a butter emulsion. It's a butter flavour emulsion.
Think of an emulsion as a paste, a liquid, that could in theory be as simple as water and flour. Add enough water and you will have a smooth compound that you can squirt out...and now you add a small amount of 95% artificial butter flavour. Throw enough of it in your "butter croissants" (or your Danish "butter cookies", for that matter) and you, the customer, is willing to pay more because you don't know you are being ripped off and you actually believe there is butter in your product because "it tastes so nice and buttery". Movie night? How much butter do you think is in your popcorn? After 35 years in the industry, I can guarantee you that if you really got butter, you would be paying a different price. And how much almond in your almond croissant? Easy answer: count the flakes on top. The list is never ending.
If you are not a smart and educated customer, and if you don't ask critical questions and demand proof,if you don't stand up and fight, you will be ripped of. Guaranteed!
Have you ever heard of eating silicone? Have you ever heard of silicosis? Why do you think the EU have banned silicone dioxide? Because it's healthy for you? Because it's ok to eat?
In Canada: "Oh, we have not seen any proof that eating silicone is harmful". "Well, have you ever seen any proof it's harmless"?
Ultimately I guess it's your choice, dear reader/consumer. If you are really convinced that it's cool, good and healthy to eat silicone, well, go right ahead. But let me educate you first on what sourdough is: It's water and flour and absolutely nothing else and this crap you are eating here when you buy one of those "hockey bag smelling" sour tasting breads, is a chemically based mixture that includes silicone and has absolutely zero to do with sourdough. Sourdoiugh does not smell sour. It smells more like yogurt because it developed lactic acids when treated right and lactic acids are naturally occuring in your body. Silicone is not. Unless you are on your way to dying from silicosis. (Your regular "sourdough" bread, in 95% of the cases, is a regular yeasted dough with about 10 grams of this toxic shit in each loaf) (Ask your baker if he uses natural sourdough. If he says yes, demand to see it. If he won't/can't, take your business elsewhere.)
"Oh, yeah! Put some yellow food colour in there. Then they think there is lots of egg (yolk) in there and we can charge more. They'll happily pay. Customers are so easy to rip off.
And now that we're at it, tell them we use olive oil...no, tell them we use very expensive extra virgin olive oil (cold pressed, of course)...and then give them cheap canola instead. We'll charge them for cold pressed extra virgin olive oil and they'll never be able to prove it's canola. We'll be raking in the profits. Let's spit in their faces and laugh at them."
The "Organic" rip off:
But the rip-off master of all time, as far as I am concerned, is a little Vietnamese guy named Don Nguyen, and here is the story behind it (short version):
A German Yugoslav named Jaroslav Marko buys his way into Canada, providing he opens a business and employs x number of Canadians. He ends up opening "Mediterranean Bakery & Cafe" in Park Royal South, West Vancouver. He hires Brian de Amorim and Don Nguyen as part of his staff.
Despite a vile temper (just ask his wife, who worked there too, for a short period of time and would come in with black eyes) and a toxic attitude, Don Nguyen ends up buying Mediterranean Bakery & Cafe, when Jaroslav Marko seeks other pastures, and he moves the bakery cafe to Burnaby.
Then Don brands his bakery as "organic", 'cause that's where the money is at this time. You can charge a lot more money for your "organic" than your non-organic bread. The actual rebranbding is easy enough to do: You pile up your bakery with 'everything organic' - this one time - and then you call for certification. Once certified, you get rid of the expensive certifed flour and rip-off alley (boulevard) lies open to you, as far into the horizon as you can see. For the rest of your days, you buy cheap, regular flour and sell "organic" bread at pumped up prices and then you pocket the difference and hope that nobody finds out.
Except that Don Nguyen was not all that smart and somebody did find out. That "somebody" was Canadas national broadcaster, CBC, and whoops, then Don was famous...and on TV, where he bawled his eyes out and proclaimed his innocense and "I didn't know" - playing the "dumb immigrant" card. But lack of knowledge has never been a legal defence. Neither has ignorance, stupidity or cynicism.
So when you buy "organic" next time. Make sure you get what you are paying for.
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